Day 1 - Working on Health

I have poison on my mind. I want to make no changes to life as I've been living it. I go to a store and choose what to eat based on how I feel. Based on the more then slight emotional rememberance of the pleasure, and even better of the instance of release from the stress. The chocolate that helps me through trying to be patient and understanding of a growing toddler. The cheese pizza that brings ease in figuring out what to have for dinner that day. Since I started to give in fully, there have been no stretched out conversations about what's for dinner. I've given up trying to make a plan ahead of time. Who has time? Anyways the real reason... It's that poison. I can eat it freely. I don't have to justify it in my mind because I've accepted I am weak. It tastes good. It makes me feel good. And that's that. And yet... It's poison. No. That's not that. 

#health #chocolate #struggles #stress #motherhood