Birthday Thanks for My Husband
- Jan 24, 2017
- 3 min read
The truth is I was still in a state of sleep. I lay in between snoozes on my alarm having somewhat finished the bizarre dream about musketeers fighting to get the best cheese for their king (due to a combination of the day's events). But as I lay trying to squeeze in 10 more minutes, I started another dream. I was in some sort of classroom and it looked like the class was just ending since the students where leaving. I was still focused sitting at a desk with a book and taking notes. A very wrinkly, yet unusually engaging, old professor came toward me and broke my reverie. To be honest I was annoyed that he was talking to me and interrupting my study flow. He asked my name as he pulled up a chair and wanted to know a bit about me and why I was still there. I am still quite surprised by my response.
In this dream state, talking to a complete stranger who had never starred in any of my other emotionally taxing dreams, I started to tell him. I started to tell him first that I was working at being an author of children's books. That my focus was social justice topics, marriage, and truth in general. I told him that I believed these to be important topics for children and youth. I told him that my husband and I were working on long term projects such that would benefit whole communities, local and international, and provide access to trainings that are either completely missing or difficult to gain access to. I also told him that I am pregnant with our first child and that now more than ever I must live what I "preach" because our children will see and emulate all my actions. Discipline is one of the things I am putting in practice. Without discipline I cannot accomplish even one of those things let alone all of them. I further explained that this concept of discipline is one I have been working on for many years now and it impacts my daily goals as well. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle which includes eating healthy, unprocessed, non-toxic food, exercising my body, guarding and developing my relationship with God, and maintaining an overall balance in life.
"You see…" I told him. "It has taken me a long time to begin to understand what purpose truly is in general, and then to understand what my purpose and vision is in my own life. It has also been a journey of its own to work toward that purpose and those visions."
I woke up and I finished my train of thought.
By God's grace I am where I am.
But I can confidently and gratefully and humbly say, if it were not for Ataa, my patient husband, I would not have been able to answer that unusually engaging, and wrinkly old man, in my dream with much more then, "My name is Frannia. I am not doing much, just reading". My conscience thought process, and now I also know that my subconscious thoughts have been changing. From the first time I remember consciously thinking at age 12, past the stage as a Psychology undergraduate student where I realized I was really derailed and off course in life, through the challenging first years of marriage, all the way to four years into that marriage, at age 28, I finally know I am on the correct course. The moment by moment efforts must continue, because without them my purpose will remain unfulfilled, but still, I thank God and take this moment to honor my husband.
Dear man who values wisdom, I have reached this far into my life journey in great part thanks to you. Thanks for the many times you came home after work and did not run away. Thanks for the many evenings we spent not communicating correctly at first but then to revisit topics over and over until we understood each other only a fraction of a percentage better. Thanks for the great efforts you made to show me, to teach me, when I did not want to be your student. Thanks for the patience you have had and the trust you put in God to allow the time needed to let all your wisdom sink into the deepest parts of me. The parts where only God can carry a message to. The parts that cause my actions and thoughts to start to change. I regret that perhaps even now it might be hard for you to believe my words. It might be difficult for you to understand or even see the changes in me that I am starting to see in myself. I pray God gives us time. Time for me to mature further, and time for you to witness what your influence and your love has done. Happy Birthday my True Love.
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